i'm under the earth. way down under. slowly running out of oxygen... slowly fading.
one step from disappearing into thin air. disintegrating.
loosing the thread... that ... fuck. holds me together. i need stronger glue.
or probably someone whose willing to pick up the pieces and make something out of it. if there is still anything left. but how was it that i just lost, everything, or how i never even had anything. how am i supposed to know?
if i could only get back on my feet. but i'm not strong enough. i'm sick of falling and getting back up. sick of pretending i can be alone and it's ok.
sick of staring at a crowd, waiting for you to randomly be there. sick of hoping so deeply inside that what comes out is the strong, fearless me. i want to be able to just have someone to be there for me when i loose it.
i want to be able to be weak
and lonely
and breathless
cadaver.
i want to look in the mirror and feel proud.
at balance.
